How to raise an orphaned kitten baby
Kittenbaby.com

Baby Kitten Home

NORTH TEXAS
CAT RESCUE



New Baby Kitten
First Things to Do
First Aid
Kitten Poop
When Do Eyes Open
Bottle-feeding

Baby Kitten Handling
Bowel Movement
Cleaning Kittens
Socialize Kitty

Baby Kitten Basics
Litter Box Training
Litter Box Problems
Kitten Housing
Cat Behavior
Calculate Cat's Age
Weaning

Kitten Diseases
Dehydration
Injuries
Sneezing
Diseases
Parasites
Rabies
Eye Infections
Poisonous Plants

Kitten's Future
Why Spay/Neuter
Kitten Vaccines
Cat Declawing

Kitten Articles
Cat Health
Kitten Food
Behavior
Myths
Healthy Kitten Diet
Kitten Care

Kitten Corner
Cute Kitten Videos
Kitten Pictures
Adopt a Kitten
Kitten Resources
Kitten Blog

Resources:
Kitten Links
Squirrel-Rescue
Wildlife Rescue
Puppy Education

Jul 15, 2010

Animal Rescuers Answering Machine Message

Hello, You have reached 555-5555, Animal Rescue. Due to the high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to the following options and choose the one that best describes you or your situation:

Press 1 if you think we are veterinarians and want free medical advice.

Press 2 if you know we are a rescue organization but want to save money and have us give you free, untrained medical advice anyway.

Press 3 if you make $200,000 a year but still want us to pay to spay the "stray" in your yard (house).

Press 4 if you have a 10-year-old dog and your 15-year-old son has suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home right away.

Press 5 if you have three dogs, had a baby and want to get rid of your dogs because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and dogs at the same time.

Press 6 if your dog is sick and needs a vet but you need the money for your vacation.

Press 7 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away.

Press 8 if your little puppy has grown up and is no longer small and cute and you want to trade it in for a new model.

Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute puppy who is not active and is going to outlive you.

Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for their elderly dog because it doesn't fit your lifestyle.

Press 11 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your 150 pound, 8-year-old, unneutured, aggressive dog.

Press 12 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home today and pick up the dog you no longer want.

Press 13 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your dog.

Press 14 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up before I have to go to work so you can drop a dog off on your way to work.

Press 15 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know you have left a dog in our yard in the middle of January, which is in fact, better than just leaving the dog with no message.

Press 16 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to take your dog that you have had for fifteen years, because it is not our responsibility.

Press 17 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old dog to be euthanized because we can't get to your house in the next hour.

Press 18 if you're going to get angry because the volunteers had the audacity to go on vacation and leave the dogs in care of a trusted volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet.

Press 19 if you want one of our perfectly trained, housebroken, kid and cat friendly purebred tiny dogs that we have an abundance of.

Press 20 if you want us to take your dog that has a slight aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and killed your neighbor's cats.

Press 21 if you have already called once and been told we don't take personal surrenders but thought you would get a different person this time with a different answer.

Press 22 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to board your personal dog while you are on vacation, free of charge, of course.

Press 23 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to deliver an eight week old puppy to your house by 6:30 am before your kids wake up.

Press 24 if you have bought your children a duckling, chick or baby bunny for Easter and it is now Christmas and no longer cute.

Press 25 if you want us to take your female dog who has already had ten litters, but we can't spay her because she is pregnant again and it is against your religion.

Press 26 if you're lying to make one of our younger volunteers feel bad and take your personal pet off your hands.

Press 27 if your two year old male dog is marking all over your house but you just haven't gotten around to having him neutered.

Press 28 if you previously had an outdoor only dog and are calling because she is suddenly pregnant.

Press 29 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your dog and have had no success but you don't want to crate the dog because it is cruel.

Press 30 if you didn't listen to the message asking for an evening phone number and you left your work number when all volunteers are also working and you are angry because no one called you back.

Press 31 if you need a puppy immediately and cannot wait because today is your daughter's birthday and you forgot when she was born.

Press 32 if your dog's coat doesn't match your new furniture and you need a different color or breed.

Press 33 if your new love doesn't like your dog and you are too stupid to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next month anyway) instead of the dog.

Press 34 if you went through all these 'presses' and didn't hear enough. This press will connect you to the sounds of tears being shed by one of our volunteers who is holding a discarded old dog while the vet mercifully frees him from the grief of missing his family.

Author Unknown

 


 

 

Finding the right Kitten - Kitten or Cat? - Adopt a Cat for Life - Kitten Development - Kitten Age - Kitten Formula Recipe - Kitten Diet - Kitten Tips - Potty the Kitten - Kitten Hydration - Rehydrate the Kitten - Conjunctivitis - Runny Eyes - Eye Infections - Eye Discharge - Third Eyelid - Feline Infectious Diseases - (FIV) - (FeLV) - (FIP) - Feline Aids - Feline Leukemia - Rabies Vaccine - Feline Herpes Virus - Feline Distemper - Kitten Health Dangers - Kitten Ilnesses - Kitten Diseases - Preventative Care - Spaying and Neutering - Fixing - How to play with your Kitten - Kitten Toys - Kitten Bonding - Coccidial Infections (Coccidia) - Giardia - Cryptosporidium - Toxoplasmosis - Roundworms - Hookworms - Tapeworms - Pinworms - Whipworms - Fleas - Ticks - Ear mites - Injuries - Sneezing - Poisonous Plants - Cute Kitten Videos


Webdesign and Photos by SmilingPages.com
in Support of the Rainbow Wildlife Rescue
- Privacy Policy